A Marriage is a Lifetime - Lesson 2

I started this marriage series to give you a glimpse of my marriage and what does and doesn't work for us. I thought I'd start out with some really important lessons we learned when we went on our engaged encounter before we got married. I think they are life lessons that really helped our marriage.

Lesson 2: Love is a choice.

Now this may sound weird. You're probably thinking, wait I always love my spouse all the time. But do you? I think relationships go in phases. What I mean is first you have the butterflies of meeting The One, then the phone calls and dates start and you're excited and always want to be with each other. Then the engagement happens and those excited feelings either come back or you just keep you going on that relationship high (you know when the person can do no wrong, light of your life, etc), getting married and being able to call your once boyfriend/fiance to husband status, that high can last a couple of years. The newness of everything keeps you going. But what happens when you settle into a routine and things aren't all butterflies and rainbows?

This is when you CHOSE to love your partner. You wake up and think, I am choosing to love this person no matter what. Some days you won't have to think that, you'll just wake up and know. But other days when he's left his laundry on the floor instead of the hamper, he forgot to get some milk on the way home from work, you are choosing to love this person. When you get in an argument and think you are really not happy with him, at those moments you have to choose to love this person and remember the reasons why you married him in the first place.

Mr. and I rarely argue, but we do have those small little things that are so stupid saying why you were fighting out loud is just ridiculous, one of us will shout out to the other person, "I'm choosing to love you right now!" Usually that's enough to break our momentary anger and realize that fighting over which way to drive to the movie theaters isn't that big of a deal. It helps to not escalate a small little fight into something bigger where things are said and can't be taken back.

So when you're fighting and not talking, just keep reminding yourself you are choosing to love this person and remember why you got married in the first place.

Now go out and choose to love your spouse today.