Thursday, April 4, 2013

A Marriage is a Lifetime - Lesson 2



I started this marriage series to give you a glimpse of my marriage and what does and doesn't work for us. I thought I'd start out with some really important lessons we learned when we went on our engaged encounter before we got married. I think they are life lessons that really helped our marriage.

Lesson 2: Love is a choice.

Now this may sound weird. You're probably thinking, wait I always love my spouse all the time. But do you? I think relationships go in phases. What I mean is first you have the butterflies of meeting The One, then the phone calls and dates start and you're excited and always want to be with each other. Then the engagement happens and those excited feelings either come back or you just keep you going on that relationship high (you know when the person can do no wrong, light of your life, etc), getting married and being able to call your once boyfriend/fiance to husband status, that high can last a couple of years. The newness of everything keeps you going. But what happens when you settle into a routine and things aren't all butterflies and rainbows?

This is when you CHOSE to love your partner. You wake up and think, I am choosing to love this person no matter what. Some days you won't have to think that, you'll just wake up and know. But other days when he's left his laundry on the floor instead of the hamper, he forgot to get some milk on the way home from work, you are choosing to love this person. When you get in an argument and think you are really not happy with him, at those moments you have to choose to love this person and remember the reasons why you married him in the first place.

Mr. and I rarely argue, but we do have those small little things that are so stupid saying why you were fighting out loud is just ridiculous, one of us will shout out to the other person, "I'm choosing to love you right now!" Usually that's enough to break our momentary anger and realize that fighting over which way to drive to the movie theaters isn't that big of a deal. It helps to not escalate a small little fight into something bigger where things are said and can't be taken back.

So when you're fighting and not talking, just keep reminding yourself you are choosing to love this person and remember why you got married in the first place.

Now go out and choose to love your spouse today.

16 comments:

  1. My husband and I rarely argue too and when we do it's about the dumbest things. I think that's normal.. at least there are no huge/major issues that we are fighting about. When it's an argument about who gets to watch what tv show, I think we're ok. That's something we can easily solve. Obviously I win. :)

    xo, Yi-chia
    Always Maylee

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  2. sooo true! what a great post! perfect for my post today about fighting ;)

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  3. I think that is definitely true. Relationships are hard work!

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  4. love this series and i think our society focuses so much on the wedding they forget there is a relationship and a marriage after that one day that should be much more important to prepare for than the wedding. your honesty is much appreciated!!

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  5. Now, I don't have a spouse, but I will remember this for the day that I do.

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  6. Love this post. So true! It's a decision every day and some days it's easier than others! :-)

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  7. Love this! It really is our choice how we handle things and it is our choice to love! Thanks for sharing this :)

    xoxo Jamie

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  8. So true that relationships go in stages and it evolves as time goes on!

    -Sharon
    The Tiny Heart

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  9. I love this! going to have to steal that one liner for when my MR works my nerves lol thanks for sharing !!

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  10. Wow, I love how real this is. I think everyone who is in a serious relationship goes through these stages. Thanks for sharing!

    A Blissful Haven

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  11. It was so nice to read this. There are days when I have to wake up and make the choice to love my husband. It's not always easy, and I'm sure he feels that way about me at times too, but we got married for a reason and I need to remember that. Thanks for posting this!

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  12. This great advice. Some days are easy, some days are frustrating, but I like the idea of always remembering to choose to love your spouse. Thanks for sharing!

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  13. I love the quote on the picture about how a wedding is a day and a marriage is a lifetime. I wish more people understood that. Choosing to love is an important reminder. I love that you shout it at each other, adorable!

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  14. Thank you for sharing, always an important reminder in marriage!

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  15. This is true. The newness will wear away. My husband and I are approaching our 8th anniversary and there are no more butterflies anymore, we know what works with us and what doesn't. You will have to work at things and learn how to love your spouse on a deeper level. Great post.

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