They Are Listening and It's Okay To Be Human

So this blog title has nothing to do with each other, but I'm in a rambling mood, so just go with it =) The other day, I had to go the chiropractor and Baby Fox was complaining that he didn't want to go. Mini Fox piped up and said, Coco (what she calls him), Mama does everything for us, and takes us everywhere, the least we can do is go with her. This Mama heart almost exploded, they do listen (at least girl does).

As a mom sometimes we forget that we do have to take care of ourselves too. We do everything for everyone else, play chauffeur, driving the kids to karate, piano, gymnastics, soccer/baseball, you know the list goes on.

I remember last year when Mr. had to travel for work, I was in the car on the way to my favorite gym class. The kids were complaining that they didn't want to go to the gym, I mean complaining...I got frustrated and started yelling/crying hysterically. All this happened 2 minutes into our drive. They were stunned, speechless, not sure what was happening, they both started crying hysterically. I can only imagine what we looked like as we stopped at the light. I took a deep breath, calmed down enough to explain to them that I do everything for them, forgoing the gym multiple times a week so I can get them to where the need to go and all I ask of them is to go to the gym with me one day a week so I can go to my favorite gym class. All was good by the time we reached the gym 8 minutes later, hugs were had and all forgiven. (this all happened day 1 of 6 days Mr. was gone...not a good start to the week, but we recovered and had a good rest of the week).

I say this because we try to be so perfect to everyone around us. Sometimes we forget we are not robots and we have feelings that get hurt. It's okay to show our kids that we are human. That we cry when our feelings get hurt. We make mistakes and it's okay to ask for forgiveness. We all want our kids to have a perfect childhood, but remember you're human too. It's okay to have bad days, when our emotions are all over the place. Your kids will still love you and they won't remember that one day you go upset and started yelling, even when in your head you're thinking...stop yelling, you're being ridiculous, but can't stop...we're human. It's okay. You're kids know you love them and want the best for them. They'll only remember the good times.

So go out and be less than perfect.

5 Ways To "Get On Your Bike" And Make Some Mom Friends

Hi Foxy Friends! You must be thinking, how can getting on your bike, make you friends? Let me tell you a story. Back, about 10 years ago, I was at my cousins graduation party from college and my uncle was giving a speech about my cousin. Saying how charismatic he was and how easily he made friends. Then he went onto say that when they moved, he had no neighborhood friends, so he simply got on his bike and went door to door looking for friends. Ever since that speech Mr. and I would tell each other, we need to get on our bikes to make some friends. So I'm giving you 5 ways to "get on your bike" and make some Mom friends.

| ONE |  Take Initiative

When we first moved to our city, I had one friend, but she didn't have kids yet. You know how that is, when you have kids and they don't...it's harder to get together and too many months pass before you see them again.  It is a daunting task to try and make friends in a new city. Where to begin? This part can be scary, you have to take the initiative to find friends. I went online, searched "MOM Groups" in my city, and a bunch popped up. To be honest I can't even remember when the group was called, it was an app...not even Facebook. It was like findfriends, or something...but I said, what the heck. we're meeting in public places, I can do this.

| TWO | Show Up

So I went online found peopel to meet up with, and this is important, you have to actually show up! Super scary, to show up to Starbucks and not know what anyone looks like? I just showed up, didn't know anyone, but we all had kids, that's at least one thing in common.  I don't even drink Starbucks, but gosh darn it, I was showing up to find my people. It took many meet ups to find people who got me, but eventually I did.

My first play date with my new friends.

7 years later we're still talking, granted the one on the left moved away, but we still try to get together when we can.

| THREE | YOU Make The Plans

I find that when you are trying to make new friends, if you ask, they will most likely say yes. Most people are not planners.  I am a planner, have you seen my day planner? I like making plans.

So I find a time that works for me, and I sent out a text message or email and say, hey let's have a play date, or let's do a Mom's Night Out...and then it gets the ball rolling. It just takes one person to take the initiative and the rest will fall into place. Am I almost always the one initiating? Yes, but they keep saying yes, so I'll keep planning.


| FOUR | Find Common Activities

What I mean by this is you need to find something you like to do, and you'll find people. After having Baby Fox, I wanted to get back in shape, I had heard (by one of the ladies from the Starbucks meet up), that there was this thing called Stroller Strides (now called FitMoms), I mentioned them here. Basically it's a group that meets outside, with strollers and you go through a series of workout moves, each day is different, and you get to workout with your kids in two. Sometimes we would have 30+ woman all running with their kids from station to station doing different exercises. It was an amazing way to meet friends and to also get Mom advice.

Do you see me?

| FIVE | Make One On One Time

It's all great and dandy have a group of mom friends you meet up at the park. But what we all crave is that person to call or text random photos to.  This part is a little more time consuming, but worth it in the end, you have to  make time for some one-on-one time with your new friend. Whether it is a play date with just the two of you and your kids, or a Mom's night out. Make time to really get to know your new friends, so that your conversation is more than just surface/small talk and you can start talking about things that really matter in your life.

So those are my 5 ways to make Mom friends. I know it can be super scary, but if you put yourself out there first, more times than not, people will welcome you with open arms, because remember they are just like you and probably feel great that someone reached out to them.

Linking up here

5 Tips For Moms To Take Care Of Themselves

Hi Foxy Friends! Today I'm joining The Blended Blog for our Monday chat session. This week we are sharing self-care tips. Since I am a mom, I'm going to be sharing my secrets to making the best version of me that I can.

Tip 1

You have to get rid of the Mom guilt! You cannot be the best to your family if you are not feeling the best. As a working mom who is away from the house from 5am - 5pm, sometimes it's hard for me to want to go to the gym after work and take the kids with me, and drop them off at the kids care at the gym. I think,  they've been with someone other than me or Mr. the whole day, and now I'm going to drop them off again? You bet I am! I KNOW that when I work out, I feel better about myself, and I get all those anger endorphines out of my system, so that I then have more patience with the kids and am a better mother for it.

I wrote a post a few years back about mom guilt and when it starts to creep in, I came up with the phrase Stop And Think About It, go check it out to see what I mean when I say that. In all honesty I had forgotten that I wrote that, and re-reading it...I'm just nodding my head and thinking, I need to remember all of this!

Shaunacey from Simply Shuanacey also wrote an amazing post on how to get rid of Mom Guilt. It's a must read.

Tip 2

Feel pretty. Honestly, it sounds weird, but you are your best version if you feel pretty. You have more confidence and you feel like you can conquer the world. So do what you need to do to let yourself feel pretty. If that means taking a shower, go take that shower. If your little is crying for you, it's okay, get that quick shower in, because we all know clean hair and a clean body just makes you feel better. If make up, or pretty shoes, or whatever that thing is, buy it, spend a little extra to help you feel pretty. So when you start your day, you can think, I got this.

Make up is my thing...I love everything about it and how it can transform me from feeling blah to feeling much better about life.

Tip 3

Girlfriends/Mom friends. I can't stress this enough, find your local tribe and love them hard. I remember a time when I was sitting on my couch with my mom and sister and crying to them telling them I felt so lonely and that I had no one. My one friend I had here wasn't talking to me for her own issues and I felt awful. So you know what I did, I cried it out and then I got on my bike and made some friends. I was the one that reached out and said, hey let's get together. I put in the work and you know what? I started receiving it back. I was now getting calls to see if we could set up a play dates and Mom's Night Out. I know it makes you uncomfortable at times, but I have found that mostly, they feel the same way and if only someone would just reach out and say, hey I see you and want to be friends.

You might be interesting in reading my post 3 Tips to getting Me Time

Tip 4

Find something that you can do weekly that is just for you. For me that is working out. I wish I could do it more, but because of the Mom Guilt (I should follow rule #1), I try to only go to the gym, gym once or twice a week. The other times I do workout videos at home. which is totally fine because it shows my kids they can workout anywhere if you make the time and it's showing them a healthy lifestyle. Just this month, Mini Fox joined me for some Yoga, and Baby Fox did an entire workout video with me (which I was so freaking proud of, we got him some cans of beans for weights and he did everything, I wish I had taken a picture, but wanted to just be in the moment and enjoy it rather than stopping to take a picture). Anyway, back on track. I have a workout class every Wednesday that I LOVE taking, and it really does put me in a great mood, and I feel great afterwards and it gives me those workout endorphin's that makes me a better mother, as strange as that sounds.

Mr. took this while we were in the middle of meditating. I had no idea he had taken it.

Tip 5

Getting one on one time with your significant other. Making intentional time for your other half. I know this sounds weird as a self care tip, but for me that is working on my relationship with Mr. Every night we watch one show together, which sometimes means I am going to be late, but you know what? It's worth it for me because it is time we get to spend together, and even though we may not be talking, we are together enjoying our down time after the kids go to bed.

My mom used to have this sign in our kitchen, right by our kitchen table that I read everyday for 15+ years...90% of your happiness is who you marry. Which I find totally true, by working on us, I am working on a happier version of myself.

So those are my 5 tips for taking care of yourself. What is something that you can add? I'd love to hear it, either in the comments below or link up your post describing how you take care of yourself.

 Next week we are sharing our Fashion, food, fitness and Friendship goals, please join us and share what's on your mind!

An InLinkz Link-up

Linking up here

Momma Love Fellowship

Happy Monday all! I hope you all had a great weekend. I'm writing this on Wednesday night as I am traveling to Toronto to go see The Blended Blog ladies. I'm sure we had a great time and I'll be recapping it soon! But today is about Justine and her Momma Love Fellowship she started back in March. How fun it is to receive some snail mail from a fellow Momma? The person I was originally assigned to, got busy and couldn't finish up, but the lovely Justine took it upon herself to take me on. How sweet is she? So let's see what she sent.

Justine is so sweet, right off the bat when I signed up she sent this sweet post card.

Then after my partner dropped out, she sent this, how cute are those paperclips that match the cactus on the front.

Then I sent her something and got this back immediately. Justine is on it, how she does it all, amazes me.

Then in honor of Mother's Day we got this package. Everything she sent had cute washi on it. I always wondered what people did with washi tape, now that I see how cute it can be on packages and envelopes, I think I need some in every pattern and color.

She noticed on my blog that I was really into floral stuff, so she got me this cute floral wallet and a gift card to my favorite store! How sweet is that? And you know what the best part is? This wallet can hold my monster of a phone! I'm so excited to start using it!

Thank  you Justine for keeping me in the loop and being so dang thoughtful!

Linking up here

Three Tips to Balancing Work and Home Life

Before I start, go check out my post on The Blended Blog about being adopted and the most frequently asked questions I get.

Today I'm linking up with Shay and Erica for Workin' It Wednesday: this time we're talking about Balancing work/home life. This topic is so hard, trying to balance work and home life. Obviously you're working to provide for your family, but you don't want to work too much, so that you miss out on the everyday life. So here are my three tips to balance those two things in your life:

| ONE |

I leave work at home. I know I have it easier than most, but when I leave work I don't think about it, I don't ponder what happened at work, what I should have done different, who I should have talked to, who I need to email, etc, you know the list could go on forever. My mentality is that work will still be there when I am come back. The work/emails/phone calls will still be there, no on is going to die. I don't work in an E.R. where it is actually life and death. So unless someone is going to die, it can wait till tomorrow.

| TWO |

Enjoy the family time, I try to not be on my phone when we're doing things with the kids. While it's nice to constantly post to FB, IG, Snapchat, etc, I want to see the things happen in real life and take pictures, but I do not have to post to social media in that moment. I can do that when the kids are in bed.

| THREE |

 I take personal time off of work for the important things for the kids. I know not everyone can do this, but I will take days off of work or work half days so that I can go to all of the school functions for the kids. I know it's hard to do sometimes, but when and if I can I make an effort to do so. I know how much it meant to me as a kid to look up and see my mom or dad standing there in the audience.

| Bonus |

I do admit we other people help us out around the house, pool guy, gardener, someone cleaning. Our thought is, we don't have much time to spend after work and on the weekends, we don't want to spend it doing those things. Time with the kids is too precious. Plus knowing us, it would never get done. Keeping it real here.

That's how I balance my work and home life. What do you do to help balance it all?

Don't forget to enter my giveaway for a $50 store credit to the cutest boutique ever!

Linking up here

5 Reasons You Need a Baby Jogger As Your First Stroller + A Giveaway

This is a sponsored post brought to you by Nakturnal. The opinions are completely my own based on my experience.

Hello Foxy Friends! It's Thursday, woo hoo! I have tomorrow off, so today is my "Friday" yay. I don't know about you but the days at work seem to be passing at snail pace, seriously!

I was thinking about it a few months ago when we were cleaning out our house and garage that we have entirely too many strollers! At one point, I wish I was kidding, we had 6 strollers at our house, no joke! Looking back I wish I had done more research when we got our very first stroller, I think it would have eliminated several of those strollers, and we could have gotten it down to 2.

Back when we got pregnant with Mini Fox, we...and I really mean me, was vacillating between two strollers. One of them being an umbrella stroller and the other a expandable stroller. I had no idea these were a thing, when we had Baby Fox. In the end I figured that Baby Fox was almost out of the stroller game and I didn't want to invest that much to buy two of everything. I wish I had known sooner. Boy was a I wrong, they fight every time I just bring the umbrella stroller, then end up like this, every single time.

Little did I know that Baby Fox would in fact always like to be in a stroller and the kids would constantly fight over who gets to ride in it. Should have just invested in the expandable one right? So here I am telling you 3 reason why you need to invest in a Baby Jogger System with the first kid!

| One |

Our first stroller was a click and go but with this stroller system, you can have the click and go mentality and then change it over to a seat once they are old enough without having to get another stroller. This almost eliminates one of my strollers that I had to buy. This is set up to have another seat under the infant seat, which is optional, see reason #2.

| Two |

This is expandable to more than one kid! You just keep adding on pieces to the base frame and you're good to go, no adding more strollers to your arsenal of strollers. I know Baby Fox LOVED when we had our Sit and Stand stroller, so in this case we could have added the kick board to the base and called it a day, stroller #2 and #3 eliminated. This is configured to three kids, how amazing is this, one stroller, three kids. And all you did was buy the first stroller when you had your first kid. It's the stroller that keeps on giving!

| Three |

Super light weight and can be broken down into with one hand. It can't get any easier then that right? I know my umbrella strollers are more than one hand break down and somewhat difficult. Most of my friends had this stroller and I was so jealous of them when they got it, kicking myself for not getting one too!

 | Four |

There are 16 different configurations, so if you have one kid that hits the other, you can just flip the seat around and voila no more hitting because they can't see each other. Really if you add the glider board in there, you could get more than 16, but these are the advertised configurations.

| Five |

When you have it in the single mode the seat can lean all the way back so your child can get a nap in while you are out and about. No need to rush home.

The best part? I'm teaming up with Nakturnal to give away a $50 gift certificate! How awesome is that? If you're already a follower, then all the entries are easy ones, no easier way to enter then that! Can't win if you don't enter! Giveaway will run until Monday January 23rd at 11:59pm PST.


a Rafflecopter giveaway

Linking up here

How I deal with Mommy Guilt

Today I'm joining up with these mama's for some mommy thoughts, today's topic? Mommy guilt and how to deal with it. A couple of weeks ago I had talked about my mommy guilt, but never really talked about how to deal with it. So here I am, going to discuss how in the end I chose to deal with my mommy guilt.

Mommy Guilt, what a word, all mom's feel it at some point or another. For me I think I felt it full force a few weeks ago. I felt guilty for how I was feeling, I was feeling frustrated, angry but mostly helpless. I think a lot of the time that's where the guilt comes from, from feeling helpless. Helpless that we don't know what to do, wonder if you're doing it correctly, wondering if what you're doing is going to send them to therapy for years to come. Here is something to think about when you are feeling a little bit of that Mommy Guilt creep in.

Stop and think about the origin of the guilt. 

Is it that you are going back to work and you feel guilty that you have to work?  Stop and think about it. Are you going to work to provide for your family? Does your child love his daycare and gets to socialize with other toddlers and comes home happy, well fed and with lots of fun projects? Think about that, they're having fun and learning, and you're providing for your family. Your child most likely still jumps in your arms and prefers you over their daycare provider.

Baby Fox crawling towards me when I get home from work

Mini Fox crawling towards me when I got home from the gym

Or is it that you have decided that CIO is for you and now that your child is crying you're not sure why you chose that method? Or you have decided that co-sleeping is for you and then feel guilty when you want them out of your bed? Stop and think about it. For us we did a modified CIO, and at the time it was the hardest thing to hear your child cry, but in the end (2-3 weeks or intermittent crying) now all I have to do is put them down in the crib and there is no crying, they are awake and can put themselves to sleep, a life long lesson: being able to put themselves to sleep. We did this for both of our kids and both of them take great naps, and have a nice nap schedule and they know when it's time for bed/naps and how to do it without all the crying. Yes it was hard at first, but now...they can go to sleep on their own, there isn't an hour and a half of rocking and singing to sleep.

Or maybe your temper is short and you've yelled one too many times than you'd like? Stop and think about it, why are you so angry, is it that you didn't get enough sleep last night (lately that's what my issue is, I need more sleep), is it your child isn't listening? Figure out why you are short tempered and then go from there. If it's that your child isn't listening, count to 10, ask your self, why is your child not listening, most of the time mine doesn't listen when he is distracted or tired, if that is the case I fix the distraction and get him to refocus, or I recognize that he's tired and just remind myself that he's tired and try to get him to bed faster.

Or you see that mom on that blog and she's made a gourmet meal for her kids after getting up at 4am, getting a full workout, looks perfect before working an 8 hour day and having a project ready for Dad when he gets home.  Stop and think about it. If your kid won't eat most of those gourmet meals, then why feel guilty about not making them, you're kid won't eat it, so why make it? And if you still feel guilty, make those fancy dinners on the weekends when you have more time, or start trying to prepare things on the weekend so dinner on the weeknights are easy and fast, but fancy, like making a lasagna on the weekend and cooking during the week. That is her life and what she likes to do for her family, your thing might be making crazy hats, or playing outside with your kids, or, or, or...this list goes on. Find your thing, and know that is what makes your kid happy, not some other kid, but your kid.

Baby Fox loves cooking, here we are making green eggs and ham

Mini Fox just likes playing with toys

Or that you want some you time. Stop and think about it, you need some time to refresh and rejuvenate. You need time to remember who you are so you can be your best self for your kids. Always remember you were you before you were a Mom. You need to feel good about yourself so that you can project that feeling to your kids. If you're happy, they know that and in return will be happy kids.

Sometimes to stop and think about it, won't be enough, that's when I try to look at the big picture, in the end is this really going to hurt your child? No he's not going to perish and die because you fed him Kraft mac and cheese instead of homemade. No he's not going to hate you because you sent him to a daycare that he absolutely loves and all of his friends are there. And in my case, he hates going to the gym daycare, well I would rather deal with this issue now, when I'm only going to be gone for an hour then have this start when he starts preschool in the Fall. I know this is for the good, that this is building his character, he's 3 and doesn't know the big picture, but I do. I am the adult and I KNOW that this is going to help him deal with preschool better. At least I think I do, and if I don't, then I'll change what I know and adapt and move on.There is no kid handbook, and you do the best you can. In the end, you do what you think is right for your child, The.End, no comparing yourself to other people because they are not you, they don't have your child, you know them best and you love them with all your heart. Hold onto that thought, you love them with all your heart, you only do things in their best interest, not because you are vindictive, but because you love them.

Linking up with One Year and Beyond Link Up and Nicole