How I deal with Mommy Guilt

Today I'm joining up with these mama's for some mommy thoughts, today's topic? Mommy guilt and how to deal with it. A couple of weeks ago I had talked about my mommy guilt, but never really talked about how to deal with it. So here I am, going to discuss how in the end I chose to deal with my mommy guilt.

Mommy Guilt, what a word, all mom's feel it at some point or another. For me I think I felt it full force a few weeks ago. I felt guilty for how I was feeling, I was feeling frustrated, angry but mostly helpless. I think a lot of the time that's where the guilt comes from, from feeling helpless. Helpless that we don't know what to do, wonder if you're doing it correctly, wondering if what you're doing is going to send them to therapy for years to come. Here is something to think about when you are feeling a little bit of that Mommy Guilt creep in.

Stop and think about the origin of the guilt. 

Is it that you are going back to work and you feel guilty that you have to work?  Stop and think about it. Are you going to work to provide for your family? Does your child love his daycare and gets to socialize with other toddlers and comes home happy, well fed and with lots of fun projects? Think about that, they're having fun and learning, and you're providing for your family. Your child most likely still jumps in your arms and prefers you over their daycare provider.

Baby Fox crawling towards me when I get home from work

Mini Fox crawling towards me when I got home from the gym

Or is it that you have decided that CIO is for you and now that your child is crying you're not sure why you chose that method? Or you have decided that co-sleeping is for you and then feel guilty when you want them out of your bed? Stop and think about it. For us we did a modified CIO, and at the time it was the hardest thing to hear your child cry, but in the end (2-3 weeks or intermittent crying) now all I have to do is put them down in the crib and there is no crying, they are awake and can put themselves to sleep, a life long lesson: being able to put themselves to sleep. We did this for both of our kids and both of them take great naps, and have a nice nap schedule and they know when it's time for bed/naps and how to do it without all the crying. Yes it was hard at first, but now...they can go to sleep on their own, there isn't an hour and a half of rocking and singing to sleep.

Or maybe your temper is short and you've yelled one too many times than you'd like? Stop and think about it, why are you so angry, is it that you didn't get enough sleep last night (lately that's what my issue is, I need more sleep), is it your child isn't listening? Figure out why you are short tempered and then go from there. If it's that your child isn't listening, count to 10, ask your self, why is your child not listening, most of the time mine doesn't listen when he is distracted or tired, if that is the case I fix the distraction and get him to refocus, or I recognize that he's tired and just remind myself that he's tired and try to get him to bed faster.

Or you see that mom on that blog and she's made a gourmet meal for her kids after getting up at 4am, getting a full workout, looks perfect before working an 8 hour day and having a project ready for Dad when he gets home.  Stop and think about it. If your kid won't eat most of those gourmet meals, then why feel guilty about not making them, you're kid won't eat it, so why make it? And if you still feel guilty, make those fancy dinners on the weekends when you have more time, or start trying to prepare things on the weekend so dinner on the weeknights are easy and fast, but fancy, like making a lasagna on the weekend and cooking during the week. That is her life and what she likes to do for her family, your thing might be making crazy hats, or playing outside with your kids, or, or, or...this list goes on. Find your thing, and know that is what makes your kid happy, not some other kid, but your kid.

Baby Fox loves cooking, here we are making green eggs and ham

Mini Fox just likes playing with toys

Or that you want some you time. Stop and think about it, you need some time to refresh and rejuvenate. You need time to remember who you are so you can be your best self for your kids. Always remember you were you before you were a Mom. You need to feel good about yourself so that you can project that feeling to your kids. If you're happy, they know that and in return will be happy kids.

Sometimes to stop and think about it, won't be enough, that's when I try to look at the big picture, in the end is this really going to hurt your child? No he's not going to perish and die because you fed him Kraft mac and cheese instead of homemade. No he's not going to hate you because you sent him to a daycare that he absolutely loves and all of his friends are there. And in my case, he hates going to the gym daycare, well I would rather deal with this issue now, when I'm only going to be gone for an hour then have this start when he starts preschool in the Fall. I know this is for the good, that this is building his character, he's 3 and doesn't know the big picture, but I do. I am the adult and I KNOW that this is going to help him deal with preschool better. At least I think I do, and if I don't, then I'll change what I know and adapt and move on.There is no kid handbook, and you do the best you can. In the end, you do what you think is right for your child, The.End, no comparing yourself to other people because they are not you, they don't have your child, you know them best and you love them with all your heart. Hold onto that thought, you love them with all your heart, you only do things in their best interest, not because you are vindictive, but because you love them.

Linking up with One Year and Beyond Link Up and Nicole

T-Shirts and Blazers

I was really bad at taking outfit pictures this week. Or maybe casue I'v just been repeating the outfits that Alison told me to wear for  The Spring Challenge and since it's still spring...But good news! Starting on Monday, she's starting her Summer list! If you write me down as the referral then I'll get $5 credit towards my Summer List! You should do it, seriously, it's pretty awesome community of ladies (just email me and I'll give you my last name).

I really need to work on my poses with dresses and skirts, I cannot stand the same as when I'm wearing pants, it's just not lady like or cute...oh well...

I wore this to Mr.'s concert on Sunday, super comfortable. I was going to wear a jean jacket with it, but then it was just too hot and I forgot my jacket when I walked out the door, oops! I found this dress at Target for $12 on the clearance rack, score!

Dress - Target (no longer available), Shoes - Nordstroms (no longer availabe in that color), Necklace - groopdealz (not sure who make its, but it's called a mini bubble necklace)

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I really need to change my nail polish, when do people find the time with two kids running around, polish just takes WAY too long to dry! Although using this stuff, helps (when I say helps, I really mean is a miracle product that is so awesome I just want everyone to try it) with that, but just doing base coat + 2 coats + top coat = way too much time

Remember when I told you that I won a raffle?  Well along with a Target gift card I won this scarf too! It's from Cabi and it is oh so comfortable, light weight and did I mention what great colors it has in it? They call it the everyday scarf and they are oh so correct!

I wore this outfit yesterday to work. I started with wanting to wear the scarf, then thought, a grey tee would look good with it, but didn't want to wear jeans, so I paired it with my Old Navy small dotted pants and then when I was trying on jackets, the jean jacket just wasn't working, I threw on this blazer and out the door I went. Didn't even really look in the mirror, but when I got to work, I thought, hey this Tee/blazer thing really does work! I might need to get more blazers so I can try out other looks with them. What are your thoughts on blazers with tees?

Pants - Old Navy (similar), Tee - Target, Blazer - H&M (old), Scarf - Cabi, Wedges - Toms (Similar)

I think it looks just as great buttoned up too. Actually I think I like this way better.

I think that's all I got for now...oh I should cut off that tag on that scarf, I kept meaning to do it at work, but would only remember when I wasn't near a pair of scissors. Darn. Oh well, next time!

Once again I'm linking up with the ladies from the challenge, what inspires you? Tell me below!

Also Linking up with Because Shanna Said So, Get Your Pretty On, The Pleated Poppy, Cute and Little and Tucker Up

 

An InLinkz Link-up

Look Around, Anything Different?

So I guess if you're looking at this post, you can see that I changed my blog! It's been in the works since February! I seriously can't make decisions. A friend of mine who is super talented drew it for me, yep that's right it's hand drawn. When I was thinking about redoing my blog, I thought, she's a great artist, I wonder if she would/could do something for me.  This is exactly what I told her I'm sort of tired of looking at my blank header. My tag line is "a place where I can pretend to be domestic" so I was thinking of some sort of something with a fox doing something? Or maybe a family of foxes with the mama fox being creative and the other family members in the pictures somewhere? And that's what she came up with, so creative right? Go check out her amazing prints for sale.

Originally I thought, I can do the rest myself...then after about two or three evenings spent trying to figure it out, I thought, this is going to take me forever! That's where the amazing and talented Erin from Love, Fun and Football comes in play. I found her through Katie at For Lauren and Lauren. So go check out Erin's designs, and check out her prices, aren't those totally reasonable? She's awesome, patient and creative. I gave her a few directions of what I sort of wanted, but ultimately gave her a lot of wiggle room and she came up with the color scheme and all. Amazing right? Go give her some love and hire her...seriously go right now.

I'm totally in love with the new design, I even got Instagram and Twitter Accounts, so get ready world, I have a new phone and am ready to get my social media on.

What do you think of the new design? I hope you like it!

The Shortest Weekend Ever Recorded

Saturday I got out with Baby Fox for a little shopping and fun. Okay not that much shopping but lots of fun. We had to go to Cheesecake Factory to pick up a giftcard for our neighbor, but they weren't open when we got there, so we sat in these comfy chairs while we waited. Sat is a relative term really, mostly he liked sliding out of the chair.

He had a choice between the mall playground or this, he chose this...

And then because I'm a big sucker, I took him here for the first time ever. He really was a kid in a candy shop. He loved it.

Then I went on some errands and grocery shopping with this girl! I can tell she's going to be my go to shopping girl, she was perfect.

While we were gone, Mr. and Baby Fox went swimming, hence the outfit change.

Mini Fox and I picked up dinner, Persian Food, if you haven't had it go get it. This kid won't eat ANYTHING, rarely eats red meat, but can put of their skewers down like no ones business. His favorite dinner, won't touch a hamburger with a ten foot pole (go figure he likes the thing with the most/unusual flavor over hamburger).

Mr. had his Choir concert (see video below) on Saturday night, I couldn't go to that performance, but don't worry I did get there! The rest of the night was putting kids to bed and playing on the computer. Apparently I bought a photobook through Photo Book America and have to use it before June 4th, yikes!

Sunday we walked to Starbucks and the park

Eating breakfast - I'll never be one of those girls that can exercise with their hair down, so get used to the ponytail look.

Giving me his strong man arm cause that's what oatmeal does apparently.

Mini Fox did this:

Yes that  Bib does say "My First Easter"

When we headed to the park, she woke up, she was a bit confused.

She loves the swings! Her little feet just keep kicking with  happies (yep I just made that word up).

 

We tried to get Baby Fox to take an early nap (like 2 hours earlier than normal) so he could go to the concert with me, he finally feel asleep, only for me to wake him up 30 minutes later (it actually took me a few minutes to wake him up)

Waiting for the concert to start

Yep that's right, I took a 3 year old to a choir concert, and to my surprise, he was really good. The piece that they were singing was Brahams Requiem and it's a hour and 20 minutes of straight singing, no breaks.

Mr. is in there somewhere...no I know where he is, just hard to tell you guys

I took a small little sample of the music

 

I think he enjoyed it.

And when we were done? Run around in your tux with your three year old rolling/running down hills.

When we got home, Baby Fox helped me make dinner.

Want to guess what it was? Yea from that picture it's a little hard but eventually it turned into this:

The rest of the evening was spent cleaning up/getting ready for the week. All in all I had a great weekend, next week is a 4 day weekend! Woo hoo. Go the new flag up, we're ready to thank those that gave up their lives so that we can weekends like we just did. Thank You!

Yep that flag is big and yep we keep it out 24/7

The weekend went by too fast and I am definitely looking forward to my 4 day weekend coming up! Plus Mr. said he was taking Friday off, double bonus!

Linking up with Faith, Sarah and Heather
Also linking up with Carly and Molly

Currently Taking Bets

Apparently we're rubbing off on our children...always a good thing.

I couldn't have even done a better down ward dog :)

But in all seriousness, okay not really, but she's been doing a lot of this lately.

Can we say, early walker? I'm thinking around 10 months, and that's being generous, I'm sure it will probably be before that, wahhh!

Before I go, let's talk about this amazing kitchen set. If you have to get one, this is definitely the one to get. It goes from that set up above, and then when they get bigger, you push the oven and fridge together to make it higher, takes up less space, perfect in my book.

This is on Christmas morning 2012

He has pretty much played with it 3-5 times a week for the past 2 years, no joke.

And now the next Fox kid can enjoy it, money well spent!

*I was not compensated for this post, I just really like the product

Mr. has his Choir Concert this weekend. All week he's been gone at rehearsals till 10:30pm, he has two performances this weekend, can't wait to see what's he's been up to! That's all we have on our schedule this weekend.

Doing anything fun and exciting?

Have a great weekend!

What Makes Me Happy

I am finally connected and am now the proud user of an iPhone (I might be the last person to get a smart phone). And just like that, my text messages went from Green to Blue, oh that beautiful "iMessage" oh yea, I'm big time now :) So now all of you can send me actual pictures instead of having to send your pictures to my email.

Speaking of which, I'm having so much fun with it. I sent this to the lady who watches our kids. Mini Fox was having a bad day, so I told her to show her this, hoping to cheer her up. She had just put her down for a nap, but showed Baby Fox instead.

They sent this picture back to me.

I sent this one.

They sent me these.

No words just pictures, made my dreary day just a little better seeing this cute face. I'm ready to have some fun :)

What makes you happy?


Linking up with Nicole

The Importance of Accessories

Today I'm going to chose stuff around the neck. I don't typically wear bracelets, only because I work at a desk all day, and the clinking of a bracelet might drive my workmates to the loony bin. I would, however, love to wear bracelets all day, everyday. Because of my lack of wearing them at work, I don't buy them, but I should, so when the time comes I'm armed and ready.

I just got this necklace from Jane.com, it's a knockoff of the Stella and Dot one (shhh, don't tell anyone I cheated). I'm really loving it and wishing that I got it in silver as well...maybe Jane will take pity and offer them again! Else I just might have to pony up and get the Stella and Dot one.

I think this might be my new go to outfit, easy, comfortable, and if I get hot, the jacket comes off and I still look put together.

This is what this outfit would look like with no jewelry, just one simple necklace really changes the outfit doesn't it?

Jewelry can go so many different ways, simple pendant, big statement necklace, small yet simple necklace or just a scarf, I consider that jewelry, cause it's certainly not for warmth when it's 80° out. Just image these outfits without the necklaces? So plain Jane right?

 I'm going to have to say teal statement necklace, look at how many different ways I've worn it!

Crazy right? I didn't even know I was going to get so much use out of it when I bought it, but here I am at least 7 outfits later. You can't go wrong! Seriously!

What's your favorite go to piece of jewelry? Do you have something that you love as much as I do?


Also Linking up with Because Shanna Said So, Get Your Pretty On, The Pleated Poppy, Cute and Little and Tucker Up

Since the Spring Challenge was so much fun, we decided to keep up linking up with each other.

Link Up With Us Here!