When Is a Good Time for Baby #2?

Another Thursday, another topic for the One Year and Beyond Series, today's topic? Deciding when the time is right for baby #2 (and/or how to handle these questions). Hmmm...obviously we had baby #2 and thought the time was right, but looking back, here is what I thought I knew and now looking back here is what I know now.   What I thought I knew/wanted: I want my kids to be no more than two years apart.   What I know now:  I think whatever age difference your kids are there are pros and cons. I have a friend who had her kids 16 months apart, she loves the age difference now, but admits that it was ROUGH having her kids so close in age for the first year, now it's a lot better and they play together, etc, but she said it was rough, especially because her second one was needy as all get out.    I thought I wanted ours 2 years apart, but we tried and it just didn't happen for us and it ended up that they are 2.75 years apart and now looking back, it's amazing. Baby Fox was old enough to really understand what was going on, and is actually really helpful. He understands when I tell him to stand next to the car and wait for me, instead of running out into the parking lot. He understands when I have to feed sister and can't attend to his every needs. He can play by himself while I tend to Mini Fox's needs. I think any younger it would have obviously been doable, but this age gap is perfect for us.
What I thought I knew/wanted: That people didn't mind if you asked them when they were having a second if you were close friends.
What I know now: So not true! While we didn't have the same struggle as some people have, it felt like it at the time. With Baby Fox I got pregnant on the first try, so in my head it was going to happen right away. But it didn't and time passed and both of my good friends got pregnant and were due two weeks apart and I felt left out. They had all of their pregnancy woes to talk about and I felt left out and alone. Every month that passed by and we weren't pregnant I cried. Why did I cry? We had a perfectly healthy, wonderful 1.5 year old. Every time someone asked me when we were going to have a second it was like someone punching me in the gut. I wanted to scream and say, we are trying and it's just not happening for us, why don't you mind your own business. Meanwhile, 2 more close friends announced their pregnancies. So now I know, just don't ask any more. I don't know what they are going through, I don't know anything about them, even if it's a good friend. If they mention it, I'll talk with them, but in general I don't mention it. 
What did I eventually start saying when people asked? Most of the time I would just laugh it off and say it's not for lack of trying, wink wink. But as the months wore on, my answers turned curt and I answered in a way where they knew not to ask again. I know, so dramatic, but it's how I felt at the time. And how you feel is how you feel, right?     So what are your thoughts on the subject?   How far apart are you kids?    

  Hopefully you can relate to all of these Baby #2 talks this week!  Check out the other mama's blogs for even more!  And be sure to link up with us below if you also have a post on this.  

Like a Morning Cup of Coffee// From Here to Eternity// The Not Quite Military Wife//

A Cowboy's Life// My Delicious Adventure// Sadie Sky Boutique// Meet the Sullivan's//

Love and Life//  Foxy's Domestic Side// Everyday Love// Life of Faith

July 10:  Keeping your marriage alive with a toddler

July 17:  Favorite summer toddler activities

July 24:  Helping Your Toddler to Communicate (Words, emotions, etc.)

July 31:  Dealing with Separation Anxiety

Aug 7:    Car Trip Necessities

Aug 14:  Deciding when the time is right for baby #2 (and/or how to handle these questions)

Aug 21:  Tricks for eating out with your toddler

Aug 28:  Feeling confident as a mom (How to feel this way, Your struggle with, etc.)

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